Older and wiser

People say as you get older, you become wiser too..

It's true, but I think it's put that way so you'd feel better while trying to blow the ever-growing number of candles in one breath...

I can't disagree with that fact, coz I think now I AM wiser when it comes to dealing with annoying people, knowing who's and what's good for you and those not. I am wiser to know not to spend my time nor my energy on them. I just ignore them and shut them out of my system..

But then the saying forgot to mention that although we become wiser, the number of problems and idiots we have to deal with grew too, just like the candles on the cake. They revolve from a random occurance to a daily dose of pain in the butt!

I know God will never let us deal with problems we can't solve. I know there's a reason for every problems we face, but sometimes, I wonder how & why did I ever let one of those problems stay under the same roof?

I was adviced 'ignorance is bliss', 'what don't kill you only make you stronger', 'for every bad, there's gotta be a good'. I say 'how to ignore if it's like a wart inside your nose?', 'what if it kills you first?', 'what if the good is not enough to cover the bad?'

I won't forget the day I turn 27 years OLD. I was wiser, happier and looking forward to be better. Until she treat me like an idiot, made me so sad and looking forward to the day she's not around.

People say as you get older, you get wiser... cheers to that and to the solutions to all my problems...

So far so good...

My steam fish, bakwan jagung & chasuke haven't actually materialized yet. But my experiment with vegetables and 2 kinds of egg and Japanese beef curry has been quite successful (considering it was my first attempt & purely based on my instint instead of recipe).

Vegetable with 2 kind of egg was inspired by one of my favorite dish in crystal jade chain resto - vegetables cooked with 3 kind of egg, it was also probably the husband's favorite vegetable dish. He's not a big fan of vegetables and I was so proud when he said that mine tasted better than crystal jade's. I knew it was a lie, but a good sweet lie nevertheless.

Next time, I gotta perfect the dish with the 'century egg' to make 3 kind of egg instead of 2. And definitely more water so it's more soupy.

The Japanese beef curry has been playing out in my mind ever since I poke around with the idea of cooking. I know mom has tried making it with the packaged curry sauce and it tasted good. It seemed pretty easy too.

My curry was made in the morning rush, just in time for the husband's lunch pack. I warned him that it was my first try. But after trying it myself for lunch, I though the taste was spot on, the carrot & potato was soft enough, but the beef... was definitely hard!!!!

And that was the husband's review of the curry as well. But he finished the entire thing. And for dinner, the meat has softened a bit more and he ate some of it again... It was great and makes up for the snide remarks that someone else throw at me.

Next time, I just gotta simmer the curry longer so the beef is more tender.

It has been a great 2 weeks, having to cook for the husband and kid, watching my little boy gobble up everything I prepared for him and getting positive remarks from the husband for my effort. Now that it wasn't just the 3 of us anymore, I wonder when I'll get the chance to experiment with cooking again. But then again, with the salmon still in the fridge and my curiosity about chasuke, maybe I'll play around this coming long weekend...

I'll wish, work and wait for the day to celebrate

Just got inspired from an photography blog, where the owner and his wife just went on a roadtrip across Europe to celebrate their 6th wedding anniversary.

Story was.. they've promised each other to do a road trip for their wedding anniversary and take photos wearing their 'wedding day' costumes.. And they did that for their 6th anniversary, leaving work, kid and everything behind to embark on a journey just the two of them, to celebrate their 2,191 days together...

The photos were stunning (naturally, as they're one of the top wedding photogs in Jakarta), funny, and touching.. And it inspired me to follow in their footsteps, to work hard in my marriage, to wait patiently for the perfect timing and to make the commitment in keeping the fire, passion, sizzle in my marriage alive.

Sure it may not be easy, as 2 blogs ago, I was feeling nothing but anger towards the husband, but then with that one blog, I wish for many more blogs about how I love, care and support him. Love needs patience and marriage requires work.. a lot of work.. and I wish that 6 years (or shorter hopefully) later, we can embark on our very little own roadtrip together.

Cooking Adventure

Having had to cook for the past week made me kinda (just a teeny weeny bit) more interesting in cooking.

Though cooking has never been my forte, but receiving compliments (especially from the husband) has been somewhat rewarding and addicitive enough to make me think and actually search of new meals to cook..

Here's hoping my steam fish, bakwan jagung & Sake Chazuke will be a success..

Updates on that later :)

I'm P I S S E D

Soo pissed!

I thought being married means having someone love, pamper and care about you for the rest of your life.

I thought wrong!

Yes, most of the times when things are good, all stomachs are filled and all tempers are curbed.

But today, as I was one-staff down (as her father just suffered from stroke), have just been into the wildest class of students, haven't had the time for a proper toilet break, haven't had lunch, have been talking non-stop for 3 hours to a business prospect, I wasn't feeling no love, care much less any pampering from the husband.

He was picking me up for lunch when the business prospect showed up 2.5 hour late from our appointment. He joined the meeting with the prospect and after staying around for 2 hour, he's not willing to wait just 10 more minutes for me to talk to another appointment who was late also.
I mean, why won't he just wait for a while. He knew I was starving, I was ready to go, and I was hoping he'd accompany me for my super late lunch.

But off he go!

He wasn't rushing to anywhere else... He's had his lunch and not exactly starving... So was I wrong to ask him to wait a little longer? If it was me, I would've waited for him.. even if it's another hour and even if I AM starving.

So YES, I'm pissed! And he's the last thing I want to see or talk to right now. Or even up to dinner later. I've never been this upset at him, but then again, I've never been so tired, stressed out and hungry! (but that rant is for an entirely different post)

It's such an irony, thinking of how before marriage, he's always around even when I didn't need him. But post marriage, he's not willing to be around when I most need him.

That's food for thought that won't fill my empty stomach now :(

Jay's ever-growing vocabulary

I realized that Jay's learning new things by the dozens every day and soon, he'll be outsmarting me. So before that day comes, this is him today & his vocabulary:

mmi mi - i want to drink
mmam mam - i want to eat
mo - i want
ndong - carry me
naik - i wanna climb (the chair, the cupboard, the table, etc.)
cak - cicak
puyau - i don't want
nihh - i want this
aaaa coh - great grandma
mmma mih - mummy
kung - grandpa
popo - grandma
nai - grandma
buang - throw
diam - shut up!


'daddy' is still in the progress, but till then, there'll be more new words spurting out his mouth and I'll be here jotting them down so I won't forget...

Who says all you need to do is to juggle?

That's what you read in papers, magazines whenever they interview a high-power woman, who's way up there in her career and has a family at the same time. ".. all you need to do is to juggle between your job and your family..."

That's pretty much bullshit, I say. It's never as easy as juggling. Juggling means you have one ball in one hand at one time, while some is in the air, waiting to land on your hand again. Juggling means there's a proper rhythm to when the ball's in the air, or in your hand. Juggling means you can see the ball and predict when it'll be in your hand.

Work & babies don't work that way. They can be right there, needing your fullest attention at the same time, tearing you into half mentally & physically. There's no rhythm whatsover, when it comes to a sick baby or a sick employee. They just pick their own sweet time to fall sick! And hell no, we can't predict what's coming up next when it comes to emergencies.

Sometimes I miss being just a full-time slugger at work. But then again, I won't trade having my cute little boy for anything in the world.

It's hard being a working mother. You feel guilty leaving your child at home & your heart breaks when you see him going to his nanny instead of you for comfort. You hate yourself for missing all the 'first-times' in his life. You wish you can be by his side all day long. But then leaving a newly set up business is totally out of the question when every little thing plays an important part in making the business a success. It's not easy to let your employee have a true sense of ownership in the business and to fight their assses to make it a success. Most of the times, we do need to be there.

And honestly, there isn't any easy way or simple formula on how to "jugle" work and family. Sometimes, you just need to work really hard on maintaining work and being there for your child. Sacrifices are a must when it comes to personal time and space. And accepting that often times, things will go crazy and totally out of control and that you just need to try your best to make it all OK. But at the same time, be grateful for the good that you come across, no matter how small they are, because, I think, that's the only thing that will keep you going.

To give or not to give?

It was never hard to answer the question everytime I saw a beggar back when I was younger, single & pretty much carefree.

But today, after almost an hour of driving, an old chinese-looking lady came up to the side of my car and held out a cup asking for a change. On reflex, I waved my hand and she walked away. 4 years ago, I'd drive away without a second thought, but today, somehow I felt a sudden pang of guilt. I can't stop stealing glances at her, wondering how old she is, where she came from, is she really Chinese, how did she end up begging?

And I felt like a mean, calculative person who's not willing to give Rp2,000 to this poor old lady!

Well, I've always believed that people should work for a living. And by giving a beggar, it won't improve his/her situation. It will only lead to more begging and noone's going to benefit by giving a beggar. Plus, I was told that these beggars are controlled by syndicates who'll collect their money at the end of the day. Hence, I never give.

But having met my now-husband, who always spare a change or two when a beggar comes up, I'm slowly getting used to the idea of giving a beggar. I started out opposing him whenever he wants to give, but he'll say 'It's just a few thousand Rupiahs...'. But slowly, I've stopped opposing him, although I'm still not for the whole idea of giving.

And now, a few years & a son later, the only time I ever gave a beggar was when I gave a banana & some bread (my tea snack) to a mother carrying her baby selling newspaper on the road. My heart went out for the poor baby and I decided to give her my food, telling her to feed her baby. Still, I didn't give any money as I didn't think it'll do her any good.

But today, I'm wondering if a little something is still better than nothing for them? If it's not really up for me to decide if the money I give will benefit them or not? If it's not my call to judge if they have other options except to beg? If I should give? Or not?

Let's do this!

OK! I'm finally surrendering to the urgent desire to write...

NO, I've still not figured out how I'm going to squeeze in time to write when I have barely enough time to sleep, read, exercise and play with my cute little baby.

YES, that would probably mean I'll sneak in writting during office hour when I should be thinking of how to make myself more money.

BUT YEAH, I'm goint to start writting again, so I won't forget about all the little things in life that people tend to forget when they feel like they're too busy doing important things.