To give or not to give?

It was never hard to answer the question everytime I saw a beggar back when I was younger, single & pretty much carefree.

But today, after almost an hour of driving, an old chinese-looking lady came up to the side of my car and held out a cup asking for a change. On reflex, I waved my hand and she walked away. 4 years ago, I'd drive away without a second thought, but today, somehow I felt a sudden pang of guilt. I can't stop stealing glances at her, wondering how old she is, where she came from, is she really Chinese, how did she end up begging?

And I felt like a mean, calculative person who's not willing to give Rp2,000 to this poor old lady!

Well, I've always believed that people should work for a living. And by giving a beggar, it won't improve his/her situation. It will only lead to more begging and noone's going to benefit by giving a beggar. Plus, I was told that these beggars are controlled by syndicates who'll collect their money at the end of the day. Hence, I never give.

But having met my now-husband, who always spare a change or two when a beggar comes up, I'm slowly getting used to the idea of giving a beggar. I started out opposing him whenever he wants to give, but he'll say 'It's just a few thousand Rupiahs...'. But slowly, I've stopped opposing him, although I'm still not for the whole idea of giving.

And now, a few years & a son later, the only time I ever gave a beggar was when I gave a banana & some bread (my tea snack) to a mother carrying her baby selling newspaper on the road. My heart went out for the poor baby and I decided to give her my food, telling her to feed her baby. Still, I didn't give any money as I didn't think it'll do her any good.

But today, I'm wondering if a little something is still better than nothing for them? If it's not really up for me to decide if the money I give will benefit them or not? If it's not my call to judge if they have other options except to beg? If I should give? Or not?